I kept my lips sealed
For too long,
Not because I was trying to be kind,
But my heart didn’t know
How to speak what I was feeling.
Logic and emotion quarrel
and it seems like no one ever wins
as I’m motionless
among the endless piles of commitments
of the person that I want to become.
I try not to get lost in it all,
I try not to forget who I am,
But my mind is clouded
By a nothingness
That hovers every inch of my skin.
I’m overwhelmed by the sadness
As it takes control.
I always seem to forget
I have a choice
in every bought of grief I have or will go thru.
There’s always been a savior at my side…
And so for every negative thought,
Every sad memory,
And every regret or wish for something different…
I say thank you.
I won’t give up the past,
And I won’t go back
to change anything
because I know the universe is guiding me
specifically to a new path
that I couldn’t see before,
So I say it again amongst the crippling sadness,
As I release my sadness
and hold onto the appreciation
of where I’ve been
and of things yet to come.